Meet Tonya

My unrelenting standards, principles and beliefs, expedited and strengthened by the nature of consultancy and poor cultures, led to my burnout.

​

I built my career upon the principles of working hard and giving my all to those I worked with and for. I was the "safe pair of hands" that "always got things done" and I prided myself upon high quality output that would help my team or my clients; I did not want to put things out into the world that I was not 100% proud of (red flag the perfectionist tendencies already!) or, even worse, that other people might find fault in.   

As a junior I believed it was these principles that won me respect, built my reputation amongst senior staff and meant people wanted me on their team. I was reliable and capable with a "can do" positive attitude that bought vibrancy to a team. However, whilst my principles were valuable in helping me move quickly through the ranks of consultancy, they resulted in significant internal pressure to maintain these without failure and even raise the expectation bar higher in order to continually impress and earn my next promotion..."I always get things done, and ahead of deadlines", "I always have to produce the best, perfect output" and " I have to do this with a positive attitude at all times, being grateful for the opportunities, otherwise my colleagues won't see me as a valuable asset to the team". "If I work the hardest, and produce the perfect results people will see me of deserving of my place and seniority" - if ever there was an example of imposter syndrome, perfectionism and people-pleasing tendencies coming together, I was it.

Over time, and with more seniority, the standards I had set for myself became more unrelenting and the beliefs I held more embedded. This was coupled with the natural demands of more senior roles in consultancy: multiple clients, interactions with more senior executives, more complex issues to solve, business development, industry speaking engagements...the list goes on. I knew no other way of maintaining "success" other than to soldier on, living by my same standards and beliefs. With hindsight I can also see that certain leaders and corporate cultures reinforced, and even took advantage of, my principles and standards for their own results. 

Over time I realised that work-related stress was seeping into every facet of my life:

• Whilst at work I was constantly operating on overdrive, with stress and anxiety a day-to-day normal, resulting in very disturbed sleep;

• Long hours ate into my exercise regime, one of my energy sources and important outlets; and

• My downtime and personal relationships suffered

  • I was not fully present when socialising with friends - I found myself running through the work to-dos or reliving interactions in my mind whilst "listening" to conversations

  • I let down loved ones frequently - "I'll only be another hour" usually meant I would still not have materialised for an evening meal 3 hours later

  • I shied away from making social commitments through fear of having to let people when a work task overran or came in last minute (because I knew I would prioritise the work).

For me, burnout did not only occur once. In the first instance, I took time away, travelled and chose to continue to pursue my career elsewhere upon my return. Whilst this helped short term, I had not made meaningful change in my own standards and beliefs.

​

One element of consultancy life that I had always loved was the camaraderie. Coming together to solve a problem and make a difference through any adversity is what kept me there so long. I had some truly wonderful colleagues who rallied together in many memorable moments. Bouncing off like-minded people who wanted to collaborate to solve clients' challenges was invigorating. When the global pandemic hit in 2020 and we were all forced away from one another to the confines of our homes, I like many others lost the meaningful face-to-face interaction with my colleagues and the fire and joy that I got from working closely with others for a common purpose. I was left in the company of my own thoughts and beliefs and limited balancing colleague interactions. I was ragged with stress and anxiety. I was yet again burnt out.

​

After having to move it twice as a result of the pandemic, on my wedding day in August 2021, I vividly remember looking around the room which was full of people (a first for us all in over a year!) that I loved and this is the moment I thought "I am making a change, for me and for them". Shortly after my return to work I resigned and proudly stepped forth into the absolute unknown. All I knew was that a continual cycle of burnout and stress was not what I wanted for me or my loved ones. 

​

I went through my burnout recovery on my own. This required:

• a big risk of leaving my corporate job with no alternative income, as I knew no other way but to jump off the hamster wheel; and

• significant amount of time and space to rest and reevaluate before feeling even remotely ready to consider a new career.

The "cold turkey" approach, though right for some, is not the only option. Coaching can help you consider alternative ways to break the burnout cycle and I would be honoured to be a part of your journey through this.